Running Karma

It’s been two weeks and a day…and I still can’t describe my marathon experience. I have been on cloud nine for two weeks. Well, cloud nine tempered with a limp, some blisters, an aching body, and a tired mind. Perhaps there should be a new category: cloud 11? Eleven being my favorite number. If you knock back that perfect feeling, my 11, with a little body pain, you’d make it back to cloud nine.

Why was I on cloud 11? To cover that all would be a very long blog post. A post from the beginnings of my training back in November when I could barely run three miles with J at Thanksgiving to the exhilarating triumph of turning left on Boylston, hearing the crowds roar, and seeing the dazzling finish line ahead. It would be probably five pages of thank you’s and appreciation to all of the incredible people who have supported me along the way. To keep it some-what concise, I’m going to limit this blog to marathon weekend. It may still be a novel. I hope you enjoy.

The kick-off

Marathon celebrating began at Pathfinder. My amazing  coworkers surprised me with an unbelievable array of carb-loading Friday afternoon. Pies, cookies, fruits (with my favorite pineapple!), Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches, and more were spread out in one of our conference rooms. There was a card as well as balloons that even two weeks later still have helium! They were clearly meant to weather 26.2 miles!

Real Texans Arrive

Aunt and Uncle at Lexington and Concord

What Patriot's Day isn't complete without meeting a Patriot? My aunt and uncle visited Lexington and Concord on Sunday with my dad.

That night, my aunt and uncle kicked off marathon weekend with a spectacular Bean-town celebration of all things seafood at the Barking Crab. Life-long Texans, this was their first time to Boston, and they were living it up. When I met them Friday night it was wonderful to hear about their adventures around Boston, learning about the history of the city. It was also equally fantastic to have an injection of home. Their charm, smiles, support, Texan accents, and love made me feel incredibly special and very lucky to have them in my life.

Saturday and the Marathon Expo

Saturday dawned with the beginning hint of nerves. I began running through lists I hadn’t done. Did I have Gu? Would my shoes hold out? When would I go to the Expo? How many Google Maps could I print to show my family what exact location they would be on the course? Jon began to sense my over-planning–my inherent reaction to tension/anticipation is to plan, plan, plan away!

Cafenation crepes, coffee and tea

Cafenation crepes, coffee and tea with the ladies (thanks Cait for the pic!)

Beyond planning, there was also a need for girl-time and crepes. My girls and Cafenation crepes can help spread sunshine on any rainy, or stressful, day. Saturday morning I trekked to Brighton Center on a pilgrimage ala crepe and MicCait. The tea, as always, was stellar, the crepes fantabulous, and the ladies, lovely. (I also love the peeps at Cafenation who generously contributed to my fundraising efforts.)

Later that day, while my aunt and uncle were out on the town seeing the sights, Jon and I ventured downtown to the marathon expo, a wonderland of people, running clothes, free samples, and just about every vendor who has any relation to running–or hopes to have any relation to running. I secured my bib number: 26632 after a bit of wrangling and then started my mission to find cool clothing. No, not cool as in ‘hey, good lookin.’ Cool as in, ‘oh my gosh, it’s-going-to-be-55-degrees-and-I-haven’t-trained-in-anything-above-32-in-four-months-so-how-will-my-body-possibly-respond’ kind of cool. I was a on a mission to find wicking material for my arms and a white, wicking visor for my head. After a few elbows in the crowd, some free sample scouring, and some ‘when are we leaving’ questions from Jon, I had everything I needed and we were off to the next adventure: the Tedy’s Team dinner.

The Tedy’s Team Dinner

Jon and I picked my dad up at Logan on our way to the Tedy’s Team Pasta Dinner. My dad scheduled his flight to arrive just in time for us to pop across the harbor and into downtown Boston. Although sad that my mom could not be at the marathon–since I was running for her afterall–I was thrilled to see my dad. His bear-hug assuaged my rapidly rising fears about Monday’s race and his ready jokes kept my mind off the 26.2 miles ahead.

Tedy's Team Marathon Morning

Tedy's Team Marathon Morning (thanks to Candida Ruscito for the photo!)

At the dinner, Jon, my Dad and I chatted with other Tedy’s Team runners (all of whom have amazingly inspirational stories about why they are running for stroke) and were inspired by Tedy’s Team leader, Tedy Bruschi. Tedy and his wife, Heidi, are among some of the nicest people I have had the pleasure of meeting. Their commitment to raising awareness and funds for stroke is inspiring. And being a part of their efforts makes you feel like you really are making a difference. Particularly when they announced how much the team had raised: more than $300,000!!! With just 45 runners, Tedy’s Team hit a new milestone–the most raised in the past five years of its existence. (And here I should add if you’d still like to give, you can. You can make a secure, online donation here:

I can’t quite explain the feeling in the room as the 45 of us prepared for what was to come Monday…or shared stories about what had brought us to the marathon in the first place: stroke survivors and heroes who were parents, partners, children, or even themselves. It was truly one of the most moving nights of my life. I left with energy, excitement, and enthusiasm for what was to come…and a full belly of pasta 🙂

Sunday, The Countdown Begins

There is one thing that gets me through tough runs. When the mileage starts creeping up and my body starts to resist my mind’s pressures to keep going, a solitary image glimmers at the finish line every Saturday or Sunday morning: pancakes. And not just any pancakes, Deluxe Town Diner chocolate chip pancakes. Many a time have I sat in the diner booth, sweat still seeping through my running layers, eagerly awaiting the perfect pancake. Sunday morning, I arrived with family entourage in tow, sans sweat, but with a hearty appetite ready for carb-loading. We celebrated all things diner with so many plates of food, the waitress was forced to put some of it on the shelf next to us. It was delicious.

The rest of Sunday was a blur of touring the Boston suburbs:

  • a trip to the Pathfinder office to show off my work digs
  • a jaunt down the marathon course (via car)
  • a tour of Babson, my brother’s alma mater, via car for my aunt and uncle
  • and the all important trip to Whole Foods to stock up on pre-marathon dinner supplies

The Last Supper

Sunday night, my aunt, uncle, dad, and Jon helped prepare a sumptuous feast of my favorite pre-run delectables. We downed pasta with tomato sauce and chicken sausage, sautéed summer squash, spinach salad with goat cheese, and yummy Whole Foods bread warmed with butter. I fretted over the details of the race. I may have zoned out during the dinner conversation. I had trouble concentrating on what needed to be where, when. And I obsessively kept checking the bed laid out with all of my marathon gear. But my family was amazing. My aunt, uncle, Jon and dad were a wonder of support. Jon and my aunt lovingly attached my bib number and running accoutrements with safety pins. My mom called in via speakerphone from California to send well-wishes. It was amazing.

Then came the time for sleep…and that wasn’t amazing.

I sat in front of the computer pouring over maps, a blog for work, and other random marathon sites. I rearranged my breakfast supplies on the counter. I set the DVR. I fiddled with my marathon bag, all delaying the onslaught of sleep. With sleep came the reality that the marathon was indeed the next morning–terrifying. But of course once I laid down to sleep, I couldn’t. I tossed, turned, sprawled, harumphed and muddled my way through six or seven hours in bed before jumping up pre-alarm and shouting to Jon at 6am, ‘it’s here! Marathon daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!’

The Boston Marathon

The big day with my stroke heroes sign pinned on

A look from the back in the Tedy's Team staging house (thanks to Candida Ruscito for the photo).

A lot happened that morning…from oatmeal and tea preparation to meeting up with Caitlin (and seeing her lovely parents) and Anna for transport out to the starting line. Anna’s dad graciously drove four nervous runners with a blasting inspirational soundtrack to the Hopkinton State Park. We met the buses and were on our way to the beginning of our 26.2 mile journey.

In Hopkinton I said farewell to my favorite lady runners and headed to meet Tedy’s Team at a house near the start (generously offered by some Tedy’s Team supporters). There, the 45 of us gathered to await the countdown. Tedy was in full support mode–camera ready to take photos while also fielding media coverage of Tedy’s Team (see clips here on WBZ and NESN). We stretched, chatted, put on sunscreen (lesson learned from two years ago!) and quietly took in the moment.

Then it was time.

The announcer called out for runners in the second wave and we headed to the pens. Falling in with a sea of runners–thousands of jitters and anxious deep breaths. I was at the very back of the second wave. So far back I couldn’t even see the starting line. The announcer called the start but I stood rock still, the bodies around me wanting to surge forward, but having nowhere to go. So we waited. Two minutes, three minutes, four minutes. It seemed like an eternity. The marathon had started and all I wanted to go was GO! But where was the starting line? I stood on my tiptoes trying to see above the crowd. I shuffled forward slowly. Finally, nearly fifteen minutes after the gun, I was able to start a slow jog and began to see the beginning ahead of me. I also saw Tedy, Heidi and other Tedy’s Team supporters in the starting line stands. Another TT runner and I waved excitedly. This was IT!

And we were off.

The first few miles were slow. I wanted to find a pace, but the crowds, the varying runner speeds around me and my self-talk to slow down on the beginning downhill slopes kept me feeling like I was wading through glue. I was excited, and thrilled. I felt good, just slow.

Excitement in Wellesley

Excitement in Wellesley upon seeing Linda (thanks to Linda Suttenfield for the photo!)

After the first time station (I think the 5 or 10k) I obsessively texted and called Jon and my dad trying to figure out my time–was I too fast? Was I too slow? What was my pace? No text alert had appeared on their phone–despite signing up for updates–which threw me into a tailspin of self-doubt. Was my chip not registering? Was I going to run this whole thing and not have a valid time?!?!

I made myself breathe. I thought of my mile dedications. I thought of my mom. I relaxed. I smiled. I saw Santa Claus–no really he was on the sidelines. I passed a marathoner who was part of the Century Club (and was also running his 25th straight Boston). I came near tears passing a blind, diabetic runner powering through his race with the assistance of a sighted runner. I found hope in another runner propelling his wheelchair forward, his back to the finish line, with only one leg. I considered kissing a Wellesley girl at the half way point but enjoyed high fives and the cheer wall much better from the center lane. I screamed with excitement when I saw Linda in Wellesley center. I eagerly anticipated seeing my family just past mile 17. I ate GU. I ate more GU. I started to feel blisters. I started to wonder where the finish line was.

Catching me in action

Catching me in action, my dad snaps a camera-phone shot as I run by.

I had been on eager countdown to reach 17.5 miles, the point where I would see my family. It was the beacon of hope and I thought ‘I’m doing great! I’ll have tons of energy left for the last six miles!’ That may have been a slight overstatement. Whereas I had screamed in excitement seeing Linda just a few miles earlier, I was silently huffing when I approached my family. The hills had started to take their toll. I was hungry. I was a little tired (a few hours of running can do that to you) and most of all, I was ready to cross the finish and celebrate! But it was still 8 miles away…que the ‘ra, row’ sound.

I was thrilled to see my aunt, uncle, dad, Jon, Ed (Jon’s dad who arrived that morning after I’d departed for the start) and Jeff. Seeing their smiles, signs and encouragement was great. Jon jumped in to run a bit with me and I was feeling good. But tired. And hungry.

I began to smell the sausage vendors, crave the oranges on offer from the kids lining the route, and feel a deep, disconcerted grumble in my tummy. It was already after 2pm and my last real food had been breakfast around 8am. My muscles started to scream out against moving further and was forced to slow down to a fast walk up Heartbreak Hill. The 20 mile marker, once the point I thought I would celebrate being home-free–became a source of anger. Why were people yelling so loud? Why were there so many drunk people surging so close to the runners I could barely run straight?

I tried to smile but the stage-7 anger began to creep in…where was the f%#*ing finish?!?!?! And why wasn’t closer?!?!?!

Another ray of hope, Nancy, appeared at the mile 22 water stop. She was volunteering and her smile, cup of water, and encouraging words brought me out of my anger. Ok, four miles left. I rounded Coolidge Corner and things began to blur. How far was it again? Where was I on the course? Were there supposed to be people here that I knew? Or at the finish? And where was the finish anyway?

A blurry montage of Boston landmarks seemed to pass like glaciers. Why was it taking so long to get to the end? I grabbed at water stops like Will Ferrell in Old School when he’s been hit with a tranquilizer dart. I saw the Citgo sign indicating I was close, but then why did the Prudential Center seem so far away? How far was the finish line anyway?

I heard screams, chants, and in some cases, taunting, so loud that I couldn’t find my own voice, my own pace. I tried to center. I adjusted my iPod louder. I needed to find a zone and just get into it. Finish it. Power through.

Suddenly I was on Hereford Street, the last turn to the straight-away ahead of me. The agonizing last eight miles faded. I knew the finish line approached. I kicked it up. I wanted to finish. I craved the finish line. And almost as overwhelmingly, craved a burger.

Boston Marathon finish line

Crossing the Boston Marathon finish line!!!!

And then it was there.  No longer a mirage, but reality. The finish line spread out, the crowd cheering. I could see The Lenox Hotel, where Tedy’s Team was holding post-marathon court, and I knew I had done it. A smile broke out. I felt good. I had done it. I ran 26.2 miles. My body and mind survived. I had finished months of training dedicated to raising awareness and funds for stroke. I had raised more than $8,700 for stroke. And I had done a small part to help my family, and others, affected by this debilitating, deadly, attacker.

I crossed the finish line, ecstatic. Simultaneously at a loss for words and overflowing with too many.

And two weeks and one day later I’m still ecstatic. Still in disbelief. Still in awe of everyone who was a part of Tedy’s Team and the marathon. Still overwhelmed by the outpouring of emails, texts, calls, letters, donations, and more showing the unbelievable network of friends, family, coworkers, colleagues, and loved ones I am so fortunate to have. And still hoping I can come up with some words to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Interested in donating? You still can! Visit:

UPDATE: For those interested, forgot to mention that my time was 4:21! 🙂

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Start of the Boston Marathon

Twenty-six miles is a long way to run. And it’s not just the miles you pound the day of the marathon, but the hundreds of miles you travel in preparation. The thousands of miles I have run preparing for the last few marathons is nothing compared to the medical marathon my mom, Sandra Fowler, has traveled over the years.

A brief overview of my mom’s history:

  • experienced her first migraine at 25
  • suffered her first stroke at 26, when my brother was only months old
  • her rare case of carotid arterial dissection was researched and investigated by top doctors at St. Luke’s Medical center in Houston as well as in San Francisco
  • she was spared experimental (and later what was discovered to be detrimental) procedure
  • suffered a subarachnoid hemorrhage secondary to aneurysm in 1991
  • her case was again, so unusual—and so positive—doctors presented a paper on her case
  • not once, but twice, had to relearn how to swallow, walk, talk and speak
  • suffered acute onset hydrocephalus as a result of the hemorrhage and had to have a shunt installed
  • since 1991 has managed chronic pain as a result of life-saving procedures
  • was used a lead case example of pain management by internationally renowned pain doctor
  • in 2009/2010 diagnosed with “sagging brain” as a result of dysfunctional shunt
  • successfully had shunt removed March 10, 2010

Despite all of her medical battles, over the last 30 years she has successfully been an incredible wife, an amazing mom, a great friend, an inspiring aunt, an excited new grandmother and, oh by the way, managed to secure a PhD in neuropsychology and is now a California licensed clinical neuropsychologist!

Tomorrow when I run the Boston Marathon, I run in honor of her, and the support team that has helped her make it through all of this.

I run for my dad, my brother, my grandparents, my aunts, uncles and cousins who have all been supportive. I run for the doctors, nurses, and medical teams who have saved my mom’s life and I run for my colleagues, friends, and other family members who have been affected by stroke. Each mile has a dedication and my mile markers will be:

Mile Markers:

1 My mom—she started it all 🙂

2 My dad

3 My brother

4 The doctors and medical team including: Jack Alpert, John Burdine, Jerry Marlin, Andrew Cole, Steve Stratton, Greg Albers, Harold Crasilneck, Clay Johnston, Michael McDermott

5 In memory of my grandfather, Leon Fowler

6 In memory of Gloria Diamore Morrison, my colleague, Samantha Morrison’s mother

7 Holly and Ed Kimball

8 My grandmother, Beryl Compton

9 My coaches over the years, especially Mike and Troy

10 My great colleagues at Pathfinder International

11 My grandmother, Nancy Fowler

12 In memory of my grandfather, John Compton

13 My incredible extended family

14 My wonderful nieces Holly and Peyton

15 All of my wonderful friends who have been so supportive

16 Every single person who donated!

17 My uncle, John Weissert, who will be at 17/18 tomorrow!

18 My aunt, Julie Weissert

19 My amazing girlfriends Lauren, Caitlin, Jen, Sara, Ash, Kel, Erica, Maeghan, Nancy, Mic, and more 🙂

20 Ditto

21 Ditto because these are the toughest miles and you ladies are the best

22 Christine Ryan

23 The millions who are affected by stroke every year

24 Jon, who needs to words 🙂

25 My dad, who is always there during the difficult moments to help lend a smile

26 My mom, who has overcome everything in her way—watch out finish line!

Tomorrow will be a special day and hopefully at the end, we’ll be a few steps closer to eliminating stroke for good. Till then, I’ll keep on running.

Interested in donating? Visit:

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Things I’ve learned about marathon training runs over the last few years:

Weather. It’s always too hot or too cold. Too cloudy or too sunny. Too rainy/snowy or too windy and dry. Doesn’t matter if you’re in Boston, MA or Bridgetown, Barbados. The 45-50 degree perfect run temperature with light cloud cover and little wind remains elusive.

Friendliness. Smiling and saying hi to other runners and pedestrians and waving at cars makes my runs more fun—even if sometimes I get only grunts or weird cocked eyebrow glances in response. 

Chocolate Gu with caffeine. A must for any run over 90 minutes. Someone recently told me at an athletic store that it contains real Belgian chocolate (thus explaining why it’s so tasty). I don’t necessarily believe that but sure does make you want to keep testing it to see if it’s true.

Feet. Blisters and strange bluish toenails after anything over 14 miles is a given. I haven’t found a wicking sock or the right shoe fit that doesn’t leave at least one of my toes the worse for wear after training season. Why don’t I care that much? Because blisters on the feet are better (in my opinion) than blisters on your hands (years of rowing). And toenails always grow back.

Bodily Harm. While my dad likes to send me articles about marathon runners dying, my training is no where near that level and overall as led to a lot of great health benefits. However, I have had a recurring injury somewhat unrelated. My feeling? If they’re not going to lead to permanent damage, you just have to power through. For example, two years ago after having an amazing training season (and in the middle of my taper—the time when you are cutting back on working out), I woke up in the middle of the night with blinding pain in my left knee. I’d been dead asleep on my back and BAM! out of nowhere, sharp, gasping, searing pain. Last week, when I was doing the least amount of working out or running—pretty much just sitting or standing in a hospital all week with a family illness—my lower back/hip started hurting. Now it’s migrated down to my left knee (the one from 2008) and is sharing its painful love. Apparently my body is extremely prone to injury when doing absolutely nothing related to marathon running. Eight words: Thank goodness for pain relievers and massage therapists.

Fuel. Long runs = the right to eat as much brunch as I want…almost. In the last few miles of a long run, even with the help of a few Gu, I start getting really hungry. I truly believe that the reason the last few miles of my runs are often slightly faster than my first is that I start thinking about chocolate chip pancakes at Deluxe Town Diner, the Garden Deluxe crepe at Cafénation, or every scramble at The Friendly Toast. One certain group of lady friends and I eat so often at Cafénation that to go even one weekend without a visit is a major sin (and I should also add they donated to the marathon so thank you!!!).

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There’s been a lot going on, perhaps the  most exciting of which is that I’m training for the Boston Marathon to raise money for the American Stroke Association on behalf of Tedy’s Team! This has led to two things: 1) not as much personal travel because I have to do my long runs on the weekend and 2) a lot of exhaustion (and thus less extracurricular writing).

My stroke hero, mom and I in front of giant Tedy's Team poster 2008

My stroke here and I in front of a giant Tedy's Team poster 2008

But this weekend I’m initiating a new take on travel karma: travel karma as it relates to travelling by foot. So over the next couple of months I’ll be posting pieces about my runs and the quirky, weird, or karmic kicks in the rear that they bring.

Today was quite the karmic run. While DC is inundated in feet of snow, Boston for once, is relatively snow-free. However snow-free does not equal warm. Two years ago when training for the Boston Marathon I was shaking my fists at the running-weather gods. Every weekend, without fail in the four months of training, it snowed. This year, I’m shaking my fists at the running-weather gods for cold. Last Saturday morning when I awoke for my run, it was -10 with windchill–not a good temperature to run outside. So I ran on the treadmill. Fourteen dreary miles of staring at TNT (and don’t get me wrong, I love me some TNT, but not when they’re playing reruns of Leverage. I want my Law and Order!).

This morning, my weather bug was showing 20 degrees–warm! When I flipped on the local news though, they were showing nine degrees with windchill. I thought, ok, I have the clothing to mount up for nine degrees. I was wrong.

The first three miles of my run consisted of me simultaneously cursing at the wind (in my head), trying to flex my hands (yes, they were gloved), glowering at walking people in parkas, debating turning around to grab more clothes or turning around and heading to the gym to run on the treadmill. Around mile three, my right leg started feeling odd–not a cramp, not sore, not tired, not an injury–just odd. It was the first moment in my life where I legitimately felt as though my Texan muscles were saying “we are not built for cold.”

From mile three on, my plan was to run the Charles River. As I turned right to head east toward downtown Boston, the wind hit me, my eyes teared up and I thought, this is officially crazy. Usually my internal monologue consists of fun thoughts, daydreaming, planning, feelings of “bad-ass-ness” and always, thoughts about my mom and those affected by stroke. Today all I could think was, why the hell am I doing this and oh-my-god am I cold. I couldn’t even keep my focus on a stroke hero.

Frozen Charles River

Frozen Charles River shot by brockvicky at

Around mile five I began to plan my escape. With no money and no cell phone on me, I started fantasizing about stopping someone on Storrow Drive and asking him/her to give me a ride home–or at the very least to lend a cell phone so I could call Jon or a friend. At mile six, I began to realize that there were not very many other runners out and about. The wind was cutting fiercely, whipping across the river of ice and pummeling the southern bank. Of the few other runners out, almost all seemed to have judged the conditions far better than me. In my one layer of long tights on the bottom and tanktop, long-sleeved wicking shirt, and short-sleeved ‘Tedy’s Team’ training shirt on top (with lightweight gloves and earwarmers), I was no match for those passing me in layers of fleece, windbreaker, and wool socks.

And then I saw the light. Somewhere near the Esplanade, I saw two guys snuggled in sweatshirts and down jackets, camped out in front of an SUV with sneakers, food, drinks and gear. I thought I was seeing a mirage–or if it was real, a water stop for another running team.

As I approached, smiles, friendly faces, and the words, “Would you like some water, snack, garble, garble, garble, or fleece gloves?”  WHAT? FREE GLOVES!? I wasn’t sure I had heard correctly. Could it be true? Two really nice guys from New Balance (a great shoe company based in Boston) were out manning a free water, rest, and food stop for Charles River runners in nine degree weather and they were giving out free fleece gloves! Talk about karma coming around.

As Ty helped me to a pair of gloves, I struggled to get them on under my pathetic lightweight ones. My hands were white and inflexible–probably on the point of frostbite. I don’t think I have ever smiled more widely. I was like a kid on Christmas morning. They were soft, fit perfectly, and most importantly–delightfully warm. I felt a new surge of energy and knew I was going to finish the run.

I thanked Ty and New Balance, continued on and a few miles later found another lifesaver: Microsoft. Microsoft saving me on a run? Here’s how: with the intense cold and an hour and a half of running came an incredible need to use indoor plumbing facilities–and those are few and far between along the Charles River. I saw what I thought (in my cold haze) was a gym and started running toward it. Turns out, it was the private gym at the huge Microsoft building which overlooks the Charles (I didn’t even know Microsoft had offices in Boston). A very kind security guard let me in and gave me the go ahead to use said indoor plumbing facilities. Fantastic. The heat of the plush building, the relief of indoor plumbing, and the kindness of the security guard once again saved the day. I thanked him profusely, handed him a Tedy’s Team stroke awareness card to shed some light on who this crazy girl was asking to use the restroom, and took off to finish the run.

I made it home in about two hours and forty minutes…not my usual pace and not my usual post-run excitement. But now, hours later, warm, and reflecting on the run, I can better appreciate the wonderful karma that occurred. If it weren’t for the generous actions of Ty and the Microsoft security guard, I wouldn’t have been able to make it. I like to think that my years of always smiling, waving and saying hi to other runners (who usually think I’m crazy) may have paid off today in some karmic way. Then again, I could be in for karmic backlash tomorrow when I’m unable to walk…

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